INTERVIEWER: So, you’re an advertising CD and TV writer currently living in Chicago?

ME: Actually, I live in LA now.

INTERVIEWER: Ugh, my research team is for shit. They also said you played college baseball. Is that right?

ME: No.

INTERVIEWER: God dammit. All of my questions are about college baseball.

ME: I gotta be honest, for a fictional character I created as a half-assed website gimmick, you’re terrible at this.

INTERVIEWER: I’m sorry. Why don’t you just tell me about your time in the Chattanooga Men’s Choir?

ME: The what?